People lament the high rate of divorces among married people nowadays. I am not sure if the relative rate of divorces is higher now than in the past. Divorce is a way out for married couples who have difficulties in living together peacefully. While this is true for the couples, their children suffer a lot from their parents' divorces.
I was 12 when my parents split. My siblings and I returned from school one day only to find the house was quiet and there was nothing to eat. We could not find our parents. By the end of the day, we discovered that Father had sent mother to our maternal grandmother's house in Dungun about 80km away.
My initial feeling upon discovering our parents' apparent split was of a great relief, not that I hate my mother but I hate their frequent disagreements and quarrels. I felt that finally we would have 'peace' in the house.
As time went by, we experienced a lot of psychological discomfort from the split. Members of our extended family started taking sides on any issue. We stayed with our father instead of sticking with mother. The reasons for this were that Father insisted that he would raise us and that Mother was "poorer" than Father. The absence of Mother meant that most household chores had to be done by us ourselves. Decisions have to be made by us - all primary schoolchildren - on anything in our daily life. Father worked away from home and when he came back he was too exhausted to do the tasks that were previously done by Mother.
Father remarried soon after and our stepmother was a wonderful lady. But the tension in our extended family did not abate since the split even until later years.
The stress on our family was too much for us to cope. Father vented his anger on my sister until one day she ran away from home. I went to secondary school and stayed in a hostel and for about a year I was afflicted by hysteria. These events caused me and my siblings to grow up on our own without much guidance and filial emotional support. These shaped our emotional outlook in later years that most of the time led to difficulties in interpersonal relations.
For married couples who have problems that may lead to divorces, think about the negative impact that it cause on their children before they walk-out on their marriage. The emotional scars remain for the rest of their children's life.
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Semua orang mengharapkan yang terbaik untuk keluarga mereka tetapi dugaan itu sentiasa datang dan di sinilah perlunya kesabaran kedua2 belah pihak jangan asyik salah menyalahi antara satu sama lain. Memang sukar untuk meramal masa depan kita seperti mengharapkan panas hingga ke petang tetapi hujan di tengah hari.
ReplyDeleteApabila berlaku perpecahan keluarga anak2lah yang akan menjadi mangsa. Bayangkan bagaimana hidup anak2 yang amat2 memerlukan kasih sayang dan perhatian daripada kedua2 org tua mereka.
Tetapi jika perpisahan itu memang sudah tidak dapat dielakkan lagi maka berlakulah perceraian. Sudah ditakdirkan jodoh sampai di situ saja....kita terpaksa redha dan menerima segala ketentuan dari Ilahi. Mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya....hanya Allah S.W.T sahaja yang maha mengetahui....