'Til Death Do Us Part

‘Til death do us part!’ that famous marriage vow uttered by married couples. Some people do not like to talk about deaths in their daily life. Death usually brings sad moments to most of us. However, I have a peculiar habit or hobby i. e. reading the obituaries. Obituary comes from the Medieval Latin word, obituarius meaning death. Obituary is a notice of the death of a person, often with a biographical sketch, as in a newspaper.

During my secondary school days (in the 1970s), I spent 90 minutes each day reading the English daily supplied to our hostel. I read the newspaper literally from cover-to-cover and in the process I too read the obituaries!

What can one get from reading the obituaries? A lot. First I learned how to draft an obituary (sort of an advertisement or a notice) in the right and proper format. As the event “covered’ in an obituary involves people at their sad moments care has to be taken in the choice of words and phrases.

The most common phrase in an obituary is that such-and-such is said to have “passed away peacefully…” and then he/she is “leaving behind…” and here my interests lie.

Firstly, I like reading the list of those left behind by the deceased’s’: spouse(s), children, grandchildren and so on. Some list everyone with their full titles and relationships. Others include their present or past employment/position and great cities they worked in.

As Malaysia is a multi-cultural country, I find it enjoyable to read families that have more than one ethnic groups in them, of course through inter-marriage. It is good to see the list of a deceased’s descendants comprising of Moslems and Non-Moslems, Malays and Non-Malaysia, Europeans as well Asians. Through obituaries you can see good values arising from these multiple-ethnic families who build their life based on harmony and peaceful coexistence. I am sure it is not easy for a son or a daughter to marry outside their ethnic group in the first place and to see them survive until the death of their parents means a lot at this time of our overly-conscious of our ethnic origin as fanned by politicians of all colours! Next time you read the newspapers please do not forget to also read obituaries, my friend. There is a lot to gain from that habit.